


Cracked Wide Open

by winsest



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Domestic Violence, Ficlet, M/M, Season/Series 08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24361879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winsest/pseuds/winsest
Summary: Sam doesn't live for himself, he lives for Dean.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	Cracked Wide Open

**Author's Note:**

> warning: dean-negative ficlet
> 
> tbh this isn't that far removed from wincest canon, we've seen dean beat up sam for stupid reasons many times (tho i could go on a very long rant about that another time!)
> 
> pls leave comments and kudos :)

An accident.

That's what it had been the first time Sam had felt the blow to his cheek.

Dean hadn't meant to do it **;** Sam hadn't seen it coming. Only realised what had happened once the hand met his face.

Sam stood back, holding his cheek, knowing it wasn’t hard enough to bruise, with no trace of Dean ever having hit him.

"Sammy," Dean let out breathlessly, stepping forward and apologising without stopping, kissing the younger boy’s stoic-shocked face.

Because never in his life would Sam have thought that one day Dean would come to hit him.

* * *

When Dean does it for the second time, its months ahead. After a heated conversation in the Impala.

It's his own fault, Sam says, he provokes Dean. Tests him and his limits to his jealousy. But ever since the extra bottles of whiskey, and Purgatory, Dean has changed.

Something inside Dean has clicked, something that wasn't there before. Or maybe it was, just well hidden. Perhaps a trait that Sam didn’t know about.

He doesn't know.

* * *

It's sort of become normal. The hitting. But surprisingly **,** it doesn't bother Sam as much as it should.

Sam figures its ok, since Dean doesn’t hit him in places it would show. There's no trace of the pain Dean inflicts on him, the emptiness in Dean’s eyes afterwards that follow tears and regret.

Dean is broken, Sam gets that. Life has done it, has pushed Dean into overload - into something he cannot control, and Sam’s the outlet. 

* * *

Neither of them thought the day would come. A flaw, an imperfection, the final blow to show that maybe Sam isn't as resilient as they think, and maybe Dean has reached his absolute breaking point.

Dean hits him hard, hard enough to make blood begin to drip from Sam’s nose onto the wooden floors.

This time Dean doesn’t cry or apologise. He leaves the room after telling Sam to clean up.

* * *

A fake smile.

That's what it is now; it's what Sam shows exteriorly to suppress the darkness that envelops his insides. It's a thunderstorm that runs throughout his body, but no one sees it.

Dean hits him, Sam stays still. Dean doesn’t say sorry, Sam cries, and Dean smiles. It's ok though; Sam wants Dean to be ok. Sam wants him to be fine; Sam doesn't care about himself anymore. Sam doesn't live for himself, he lives for Dean.

The bruising shows, the pain is there, but Dean is smiling. And that’s enough for Sam to keep lying.


End file.
